EIGHTEEN
A poem about what could've been; reflecting on past love and the desire for independence
This poem emerged after a breakup a few years ago, reflecting on what could have been if I hadn’t rushed into a serious relationship so early in life and if I hadn’t been unknowingly burdened by depression. I hope to evolve into a free and independent version of myself, which is the one I’m slowly becoming.
Sometimes
In my head
I’m that 18-year-old
Who charted a different course
One without the weight
Of entangled hearts
I didn’t chase after you
Entrapping us in love’s confines
Losing ourselves in the process
I hopped in a car
Turned up the radio
And left myself
In the past
Along the way
Down the lonely road
That wasn’t so lonely
I encountered a girl
Her reflection dancing
In the side mirror
A smile as vast as the horizon
Eyes alight with untamed dreams
A girl so full of
Light and air
A girl who never
Knew you or that version
Of herself tied to your memory
Sometimes
In my head
I ran not toward you
But far away
To myself
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